The Alternative Broadcasting Online News Station

Every relationship hits a snag, or worse, a major crisis (such
as infidelity), that demands significant change if the
relationship is to survive.

So…there are promises to change and the two of you embark upon
a new path. You watch carefully.

“Can I trust this change? Is it permanent? temporary? How long
will it last? Is he/she REALLY changing?”

Good questions. Here are 16 ways to know if the change is going
to last:

1. You notice opposite behaviors and nonverbal communication.
Passivity becomes activity. Recklessness transforms into
thoughtfulness. Aloofness turns into engagement.

2. You find yourself surprised. “Hmmmm, this hasn’t happened
before, but is really nice! I wonder where this came from? But,
I will take it!”

3. He/she expresses more curiosity about you, about him/her self
and others. He/she observes more closely what happens in
relationships, without criticism or defensiveness.

4. You feel that somehow there has been a shifting of gears.
There is a different rhythm or flow in the relationship. Much
less effort. Much less tension.

5. You find yourself noticing how differently he/she talks. The
words seem different. The emotional tone of the words seem
different.

6. The negative times, where you felt very stuck, helpless and
hopeless, are less intense, happen less often and you seem to
have more effective ways to move out of those times more
quickly.

7. Your gut (intuition) tells you that this is ok. You begin to
trust that part of you more implicitly. A part of you is
clapping and cheering inside!

8. He/she seems to have more direction and purpose. Less
drifting. He/she seems to be driven more by internal desires and
wishes rather than reacting to people or external circumstances.
He/she takes up interesting hobbies or finds more enthusiasm for
career.

9. The changes seem to be more consistent and carry over for a
longer period of time. More stability. Fewer swings. You seem
more consistently on the right path.

10. More concern is expressed for family, children and close
friends.

11. Words such as: “I promise. I’ll try. Or, I’m going to…”
are NOT in his/her vocabulary.

12. Moments of effusive crying, tear letting and chest beating
are gone. Apologies are past and there is a sense of working
right here right now to create what we want down the line.

13. You hear no blaming of others. He/she does NOT make others
responsible for his/her actions. You sense that he/she is intent
upon responsibly creating his/her world.

14. There is good eye contact.

15. He/she is taking great steps toward self care both
physically, emotionally and spiritually. He/she can state what
he/she needs and negotiate with you to get those needs met. At
the same time, your personal needs are considered.

16. You worry much less about what will happen next.

Sexy Lingerie has always been the Ultimate Romantic Gift. Today, women sometimes choose their intimate apparel with more emphasis than outer clothes. Be assured that lingerie is not just for women; men also desire it, propose it, and buy it for their ladies.

Underwear in principle was an exclusive use of the man. Long ago these undergarments were designed as one piece and were not considered as sexy. With the revolution in women’s underwear, and a little help from the French lingerie revolution, evolved as a sexy and powerful weapon of the new empowered women when the revealing set of two pieces arrived.

Today preferences exist and are determined by age. Girls in their 20 prefer g-strings, 30’s choose between g-strings and panties, whereas the women over 40 choose the classic comfortable panties as their standard.

The corset was the ancestor of the bodice; it functions to shrink the waist measurement and accentuate the bust thus returning a more sensual hour-glass shape. This form was very important to European monarchies during the time of Napoleon. Women sought to see themselves sleek by means of this type of streamlined lingerie.

Women living between 1830 and 1914 wore multiple cloth layers under their dress; t-shirts, corset, trousers, full cover corset, engages. Embroidered floods of embroideries, bows and tapes covered the feminine form during the time. This fashion generated discomfort all together with a new sense of socially-defined respect. Among them; represented a woman who does not need to work, access protection as opposed to attacks and violations, societal distinction, to the woman of moral principle, of comfortable life, and by chiefly, it avoided all notion of pregnancy. Fashion culture quickly accepted by women and praised by men.

Over time this early accessory overload evolved into “less is more”. What lingerie represents is a woman power to be comfortable and strong. Find the gift of sexy power and strength at Shodega.com.

That’s it, you have everything covered. You’ve found the perfect
man to marry, the perfect ring, and you’ve selected the perfect
day for the wedding! Now all you need are the perfect wedding
invitations to send to your guests. But you’re a stylish
woman, so you’ll most definitely want to announce your big day
with style. Now how do we go about it?

Get personal! Add a glossy photograph to your invitation. Did
you know that you can have your image printed directly on the
invitation card? You can. Your invitation’s text can be printed
on the translucent overlay and your photograph can be displayed
beneath it. Guests can keep the whole wedding invitation card as a keepsake.

If you’re not too revved up on that idea, you can always insert
a regular recent photograph for all of your friends and loved
ones. Or, if you really want to be unique-have your faces
printed on a custom envelope seal! That’ll make everyone say
“oh, how different!” Whichever way to you about it, your loved
ones will love to see a recent photograph of you and your
soon-to-be spouse.

So while we’re thinking about custom envelope seals , let’s get
truly unique and consider the envelopes for your invitation.
Think Vellum! That’s right, the same translucent paper that can
be seen inside of invitations, can now we used for the envelope
itself! This sheer paper wraps around your card like gift-wrap.
It’s very simple, yet very elegant and unique. Have your
recipients addresses printed on it for a striking and bold
effect.

For couples who may not see family on a daily basis: get
personal. Whether you’ve been studying abroad, or you’re just
across the miles-now is an important time to fill your family in
with details. Make your own personal wedding website to coincide
with your wedding invitations. Have the website address printed
on every invitation so your families can log onto it. There’s
many things you can place on your website, such as the story of
how you met your spouse-to-be, a daily planner (so guests can
see how much effort you’re putting into the big day), your
bridal registry information, contact information/address where
you are holding the wedding, , and a guest book (to see who
actually logged on!).

Your invitations, website, place-cards, wedding programs, and
thank you notes should all carry the same theme. The designs
shouldn’t really differ much from one another. By doing this,
you’re making a bold statement that says you’re focused in your
choices. After all, this is YOUR wedding and you want to look
ready, confident, and focused.

He’s popped the question. You’ve chosen a date. And now, you’re swimming in a sea of euphoria with no horizons. Good thing, too, because there are literally a thousand things to arrange before the big day.

You do the research, buckle under and dive in. But you find your fiancé’s ardor for the event itself seems to have cooled. It’s not that he isn’t mad about marrying you; after all, he is a great guy, even if he can’t tell a Vera Wang from a Gunny Sack. It’s that his preparation style is hands-off, to say the least. And planning a wedding isn’t a job built for one.

So what to do? Here are ten ways to involve him without increasing both of your stress loads:

1) Delegate areas that have a prayer of interesting him.

The worst thing you can do is expect him to match your ten to twenty years of feminine wisdom on the relative merits of buttercream vs. fondant.

Here are some probable no areas when roping in a reluctant wedding planner:

- Selecting the cake frosting
- Choosing the favors or favor packaging
- Selecting the wedding colors or floral arrangements

Then there are the potential maybes, fraught with fewer hazards:

- Choosing the photographer
- Choosing the videographer
- Arranging the rehearsal dinner
- Arranging the all-inclusive honeymoon
- Renting big, tricky items like outdoor tents

These are probable yeses, well worth running by your guy:

- Selecting the DJ or the band
- Setting up and maintaining your wedding website
- Researching and selecting charities, if you choose to donate instead of giving out favors
- Setting up the carriage, limo or other transportation arrangements

2) If you ask him to help you choose vendors and styles, narrow down the choices first.

It’s a jungle of options out there, enough to give the most natural-born party planner pause. So if you want his opinion on photographers, invites, flowers or cakes, narrow down the options to three or four. He’s less likely to feel overwhelmed, and more likely to feel like an important part of the process.

At times, it’ll feel so good to share the load that you’ll be tempted to drag him into the buttercream debate despite your better instincts. At these times, take a deep breath, count to ten, and call your mother or your maid of honor.

3) Ask him directly for help.

Let him know how important his input is to you, and that you can’t do it without him.

Guys like to be needed. Your frank request for help may be enough to pull him out of his comfort zone and onto your team.

4) Try the Art Director/Production Staff approach.

If you think your guy wants to help, but feels uncomfortable playing “art director,” give him “production staff” tasks. Have him make the payments, pick up the food or decor, handle the rentals, do online comparison shopping, or reserve the hotels and reception halls. These are all jobs that will take a load off your shoulders, while freeing up time for the aesthetic stuff you probably enjoy and he doesn’t.

5) Get a calendar and put all the planning in black and white.

Your fiancé probably doesn’t have the first clue in what goes into a wedding.

Get your wedding planner, write it all down, and show him. Once he gets over the shock, you’ll both probably be able to identify areas that interest him. Make lists of the things you’ve each agreed to do, and cross them off as they get done. At the very least, he’ll be far more supportive when he sees what you’re going through.

6) Weave his family heritage/ethnicity/traditions into the ceremony.

What did his parents do? He might be surprised at the question, but it could lead somewhere valuable. He might ask his parents about their wedding, and find your wedding consequently enriched. Look through their wedding album together. Are his ancestors German, Polish, Italian, Croatian, Asian? Incorporate some old-world traditions into your ceremony.

7) Don’t bring him in too early.

Treat your fiance as a bit of a pinch hitter. Sure, you may be fully aware that you can shave 5K off your costs by starting your favor crafts and reservations 18 months ahead of time. But if he’s like most guys, the wedding won’t become real to him until it draws closer. Expect him to jump in about six months before the actual ceremony, and break into a (relative) frenzy of activity about one month in advance.

Talk about something besides the wedding.

Guys aren’t the only ones who complain about brides-to-be talking of nothing but upcoming nuptials. Sometimes, even girlfriends get overwhelmed by all the wedding chatter.

Spend some time alone chatting about anything but the wedding. See a silly movie, split a hot fudge sundae, or watch a basketball game. Do something spontaneous that reminds you both of why you decided to marry in the first place.

9) Check your subtext for hidden meanings.

Tempting as it might be, make sure you’re not using your fiance as a coin-toss tool (ever noticed how people flip coins to find out what they really want?). When you ask for his opinion, take it seriously. And when you give him ownership of a task, don’t second-guess every step.

Imagine that your fiancé has told you he’s going to draft a dream team in his fantasy football league, and it’s going to cost him $20K to participate. Now imagine that he’s told you your help is supremely important to him.

You’d be a little hesitant to give opinions, right? Some of your ideas might sound feeble, even to your own ears. Hopefully he’d welcome your thoughts, however odd it felt for you to venture them. Now imagine your fiancé feels kind of like that when it comes to the wedding.

10) Remember that men become wedding experts by having one.

Chances are, your sweetheart will open his eyes to the wonder of a wedding by the time the rose petals are tossed. Forever after, he’ll be examining friend’s receptions with a practiced eye, and anticipating the next excuse for a Really Big Shindig.

So keep him around, and count on throwing a first-rate anniversary celebration ten years down the road. In a way, that’ll be the party that really matters, won’t it?

Blake Kritzberg is editor at “FavorIdeas.com.” Stop by for wedding favor ideas, Save-the-Date eCards, free wedding screensaver, free wedding templates and Bridezilla’s weekly adventures at:
http://www.favorideas.com

When you accept your partner’s proposal for marriage, you
want to celebrate your lifelong commitment to each other. You
want to relax and celebrate your union together, but you know
there is work to be done. Both of you call your families and
announce to them your upcoming marriage, and then they tell you
to start planning your wedding. The wedding that will allow both
of you to celebrate with friends and family your decision to
commit to each other.

The leader of the ceremony will ask you and your partner if you
promise to commit to each other, and both of you will make your
vows to be faithful. Everyone will be dressed in beautiful
glistening and pressed dresses and suits, as you and your
partner descend down the aisle. Pictures with friends, family
and well wishers will proceed after the marriage is nullified.
Dinner, drinks, and you will dance with your partner as a symbol
of your unity in front of everyone to admire.

Everything in the hall will be decorated with the finest
material, china, and flowers. You sit with your partner and
imagine everything in your mind. The question both of you have
is how to plan everything to be almost as perfect as the two of
you invision? Everything must be planned in detail, because it
is the day of hope and a new future. It brings two people
together, and helps unite both families.

Whether it is extravagant is irrelevant. What is relevant is
that yourself, partner and families start planning as soon as
the news is announced to everyone. Thus, it is tiring,
stressful, and a perfect test to see how you, your partner and
families get along.

You must try to book a religious or other ceremonial hall fast.
Meet with the person conducting your ceremony, so he or she can
understand what both of you want to be said and done. Ask
questions about the cost, music, and decorations and how many
people the room can seat. When you have decided which place to
hold the beginning ceremony of your celebration, tell your
family. so they can help pay for some of the costs if needed.
Once you have everything booked with the ceremonial hall, it is
time to find and book a spacious banquet hall. Make sure the
hall is nicely decorated according to your mutual taste. If you
wish to book a banquet hall, don’t expect to get one at
the last minute. Ask about cost, and then ask if the two
families will agree to help. In addition to the cost for the
banquet hall, You will also have to pay for the Disk jockey.

Dress fittings for the bride, bridesmaids and others in the
wedding party must be done six or seven months before the
wedding takes place. Shop at various bridle and dress shops
before deciding. Calculate costs, and you will find the perfect
one in a reasonable price range. Suits can be tailored for the
groom, best man, etc. Shop at different stores, and look for
quality material. If you and your partner shop at high-quality
retail outlets, one can usually find clothing that is tasteful,
and elegant for minimal cost. When sending out invitations,
don’t spend a lot. People will appreciate your invitation,
even if the cards are not top quality.

If you are fortunate, however, your families will agree to pay
for the entire celebration.

Weddings are a time to celebrate your partnership. It is
important that you plan this day, as you have planned your life
together. Remember, however, that it is not the extravagance
that makes a wedding successful. It is the promise to commit to
each other, the pride on the faces of family and friends that
make it worth the time and energy of putting it together.

The source of “true marriage healing” lies within the spiritual aspects of who we are. How do I know this? Because I’ve been to marriage counseling, and I have read all the self-help marriage books, and because, I did all the things “they say” that are supposed to help you love who you married. But the reality of it is folks, there is no magic pill or potion you can take, and there is no person, besides you, that is going to heal your marriage as it is meant to be healed.

He said, she said scenarios don’t work, and neither will finger pointing and blaming one another. We can brow beat our spouse until we are blue in the face, and we can continue to have affairs just because our marriage is on rocky times, and we can listen to strangers tell us how to save our marriage, but I’ll tell you what, it will not make us better people inside, so what good is all that for our marriage?

What we want and need for marriage is to be the person God intended for us to be so we can have a better marriage. A man and a woman marriage relationship is the four legs that support the marriage, and what you believe for your marriage is the root of how good or bad the marriage actually will be.

If you want to be a healthier person spiritually, and even mentally, you need to enhance the spiritual side of who you are so you can grow into the loving individual God wants you to become, which is the whole and complete person you truly can be! We all have certain issues in our lives that hold us back from attaining the spiritualism that I am talking about. What is holding you back? That is the question?

In my book, Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, I reveal what held me back. It is my personal testimony of dealing with alcohol addiction and how it stunted my mental and spiritual growth process, and kept me from loving others and myself properly. I was up there on cloud nine most of the early years of my marriage. I eventually came down off that cloud and grew up.

It is MY firm belief that to heal marriage according to how marriage is to be divinely inspired and healed, we need to fix ourselves FIRST! I don’t care what some of the self-help books say, I just know this to be true because I’ve been there! If our marriage isn’t good, we need to seek out the resources from the source that is going to actually do something constructive for the marriage, right?

Man himself can set forth a standard for you to follow based on beliefs of society and they may all seem so good and right but if they do not come from God what use are they, really? Most man-made principles come from God but have been twisted to fit into the standards of society, which can sound good and right. This takes great discernment on your part. What is right and wrong? How can you tell? Don’t let the world fool you; don’t let people fool you into believing what your ears want to hear. Look for the fruit. If there isn’t any, then what good is that?

“He who tends a fig tree will eat its fruit” Proverbs 27:18. And in the same concept, “He who tends “himself” will eat its fruits in marriage, and whatever else he embarks on in his life.

If you originate from God, why are you looking to a mere stranger to heal your marriage troubles? God has told us what he wants for us to do for our marriage, but no one is following these precepts, not even those who call themselves Christian’s. If you are sinning against the marriage in any way, how can you really expect the standards of society to save you from yourself? Society isn’t going to tell you that being unfaithful is wrong, just as it won’t tell you what is good and right for your marriage.

Society created the things that are tempting to us and wrong for our marriage. Immoral behavior and imagery is shoved into our face every single day and everywhere! God desperately wants us to put on His shield of armor and He will protect us from the evils of the outside world. This is precisely why we need to fix our self FIRST before we can fix anything with marriage! We do this by letting God lead us not into temptation of society, but instead deliver us from all the evils of society!

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full body armor (figuratively speaking) of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” [Ephesians 6:10-13]

We ought not to stand proud in our sin, but rather put our head down low, and stand humbly before God ready to give our sin(s) to Him. Now, I certainly don’t know everything there is to know about the mysteries of God, and, like many of you, I am learning something new about the world around me every single day. Not a day goes by that God doesn’t somehow and in some way reveal to me something new to share with others.

I have dealt with personally many of the issues most marriages go through in a lifetime, and sometimes my marriage was a living nightmare. But I grew out and away from what was holding me back, and I managed to heal my marriage with the help of biblical principles. I didn’t learn how to be happy and content with myself by going to a therapist or a marriage counselor. And I knew that I couldn’t fix my marriage until I fixed myself first. I had to stop drinking, and start to be aware of who I was as a person and where I was in relation to being that person.

What is my purpose? Who am I? Well, I am a child of God. Well then, if I am a child of God, then my source for comfort, happiness and marriage healing lies then in the seed God planted in my heart, which needs only to sprout and grow. Will the seed planted in my heart grow if I go outside of God’s boundaries for the answers to my failings, and marriage troubles? No! I need to water the seed by staying within the boundaries of who I am.

One day I decided I wanted to understand what having spirituality in my life was all about, and eventually, I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. His Spirit, the Holy Spirit is a part of my life now. This is not something anyone can just hand over to you. Spirituality is something that you go after and attain on your own and it takes time and spiritual effort. Your relationship with God (Jesus Christ) is unique and special and unlike anyone else’s relationship with Him.

True Marriage Healing is not made in a week, or months, but is a gradual growth process that husband and wife make within himself or herself. No marriage will ever be restored until “each” spouse looks at what he can do to change himself. Once this is attained, then and only then, can the marriage begin to be transformed? The big change comes through when we know who we are and what our purpose is in life. When we feel like our life has purpose and meaning, then we can start applying that purpose into our lives.

Many couples when they feel like there is no value or importance attached to their life, that is when they may go outside the boundaries of Gods precepts and search for substance through the establishments of society. The main objective here is for couples to change the way they value themselves and marriage and to help the marriage to grow in positive ways.

Who are you? What is your purpose in life? The answers are where you begin your search for the true source of marriage healing.

~~~

Angie Lewis is the author of Journey on the Roads Less Traveled, a book about love, life and marriage. Angie has written a new book, Love The Man Your Married. In her book Angie shares and answers comments and questions from married couples about marriage related issues that affect couples today.

The book involves all areas in marriage that couples need to know and understand and apply for a successful marriage. This book is a most reliable resource for married couples, from infidelity issues to complete forgiveness. It is my hope that all couples find and begin to utilize the biblical truths for their marriage by reading and studying this book.

If you value your relationship with your spouse, and want to read about positive ways to save your marriage, then this book is a must read! Pick up a copy today!

For more information on these books visit Angie’s websites http://www.spiritual.journeybooks.4t.com

Subscribe to get your FREE monthly newsletter so you can learn to stay happily and forever married! http://www.heavenministries.com

Marriage - it’s been with humankind for thousands of years. And
is usually defined as the “legitimate union between husband and
wife”.

Even with the ever-increasing divorce rates, marriage still
remains the preferred method of coexistence between “coupled”
men and women. Even after divorce more people look to get
re-married than not.

But even after having previous marriages people find that there
was still a lot of work to be done to keep their relationship
going strong.

Love is the catalyst that bonds two people together, and for a
couple to truly be happy they must love each other.

The dictionary describes love thus:

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude
toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition
of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person
with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and
romance.

Of course some may say “we can’t live on love alone”. That is
obviously a true statement. But at least when there’s love,
there’s a fighting chance a couple can make it to a “seasoned
love”, one that has made it through all the struggles of
day-to-day life and has evolved into a marriage that is
everyone’s goal: a marriage where there’s respect, honesty and
openness, friendship and intimacy.

The list above is a very “short list” to be sure. There are
actually all sorts of qualities that may be more, or equally
important to some people.

There are also many conditions to a happy marriage. Some are
even “outside” conditions that must be handled and put in their
proper place, such as extended family and our careers. Others
are internal and close to our hearts and minds: our children,
home, hobbies and interests, and the “biggy” - finances! A
couple can ever find happiness with constant frustrations and
worries over money.

If you define love by the things that are most important to a
relationship, then “love” becomes the most important part of a
marriage. Staying in love over the years becomes something you
have to work very hard for.

Talk to your mate and ask yourselves these questions:

1. Do we respect each other

2. Are we honest and open with each other

3. Are we best friends

4. Are we happy with our intimacy

Once you get your answers you may want to start to get to work
on some of the issues you have discovered.

Start with small baby steps. Take action to make sure your
“house” in order - finances, balance between family, career,
home, hobbies and outside interests.

This is the first page of the recipe for “Making the Most Out Of
Your Marriage”.

Now get started on making your relationship all it can be. It
will be challenging, fun, and very rewarding, we promise.

Remember start with communication, and keep on communicating
no matter how difficult it is. It is the secret.

Joe & Emily Season are experts when it comes to relationships
and marriage. Along with their lifetime of experience working
with their own relationships they have helped many people in
their lives find happiness. Sign up for their free exciting new
ezine at http://www.seasonedlove.com.

Imagine the following scenario. Your spouse has given you an important letter to mail and is counting on you to mail it on your way to work. But you slip up…you forget all about it until you’re on the way home. “Oh, #$@!!” is your first reaction. You know the spouse will be upset.

You frantically search the car and your briefcase for the letter, but it’s gone. You can’t find it anywhere. Now what do you do? What will you tell your spouse when you get home and he (or she) asks you if you mailed the letter?

Will you say, “It got lost” or will you say, “I lost it”? Your answer to this question gives insight into your willingness to accept responsibility for your actions. According to Sidney J. Harris, “We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until …we have stopped saying ‘It got lost,’ and say ‘I lost it.’”

As long as you avoid taking responsibility for your actions or you look for reasons to avoid admitting you goofed, you’re not being honest with yourself. When you accept responsibility and stop rationalizing and blaming, then you can start to focus on what you can do differently that will produce different results next time.

This is not easy to do. Especially if you’re in the habit of placing blame elsewhere. Accepting responsibility in a marriage takes courage, above all when a spouse is at fault.

Mark, a long-time procrastinator, always had a list of reasons why he hadn’t been able to get around to doing the house maintenance chores. It was too cold or too hot, he was too tired,or he didn’t have the right tools or enough time. He would always promise to do the chores another day. Mark’s behavior greatly irritated his wife Anne,and she began to resent his constant excuses.

It wasn’t until Anne expressed her dissatisfaction with their marriage, giving Mark’s habitual procrastination as one of the reasons,that Mark really looked closely at how his behavior was hurting his marriage relationship. In marriage counseling sessions, he learned to take responsibility for his part in what happened each day. He also learned to pay attention to the words he selected to describe what happened.

Mark learned that when he said, “There wasn’t enough time to fix the faucet,” he often really meant, “I didn’t schedule enough time to complete the job today.” And if he went a step further and was even more honest, he also meant,”I don’t really want to do this, so I’m putting it off.”

Once Mark was more aware of his behavior patterns, he was able to have an honest talk with Anne. He told her that while he didn’t mind doing some of the repair jobs, he really didn’t want to have to spend the time the others would require. They talked it over and decided to hire someone to do the repairs Mark knew he would in all probability never get around to doing. He made a resolution not to make promises unless he really planned to keep them. He also resolved to be honest with Anne upfront instead of dragging things out for months.

These changes made a major difference in Mark and Anne’s relationship. Anne didn’t feel like “the nagging wife” any longer, and Mark didn’t mislead her by making false promises. Less friction in the marriage allowed them time to focus on each other’s good points and to enjoy more harmony in their relationship.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.

Riga is the latest white hot destination for the
greatest stag weekends in Europe. Now is your chance to
experience the best in pre wedding fun!

Where Else Can You Shoot a Round From a Former Soviet Bunker
in Between Seeing the International Ice Sculpture Festival and
Hitting the Clubs with Claudia Schiffer lookalikes?

Certainly nowhere in the UK that’s for sure. In Riga
, you and your mates can get together and legally re-enact all
your favourite Cold war James Bond scenes to your hearts’
content and do it all in safety and style with a vast array of
armory to choose from including the legendary Kalashnikovs,
commonly known as AK-47s. Latvia is also home to the ‘festival’
where almost every month there is a national day dedicated to
almost everything from Baltic Ballet to International Films and,
this year, The 8th International Ice Sculpture festival. Be
amazed, amused and get your photo taken in front of a lot of
random but cool monuments.

But What about The Claudia Schiffer Lookalikes?

It’s a somewhat minor point that Claudia herself is German and
has probably never even heard of Riga let alone actually
traveled there, but all accounts of clubbing in the Latvian
capital attest to a very high population density of fit blondes,
otherwise known as the PDFB index. Other cities that come close
include Stockholm, Tallinn and most of Vilnius but a very quick,
biased and unscientific poll based on personal preference and
urban legend has Riga as the clear odds-on favourite. Helping
you to continue this very necessary social research is a vast
array of white hot clubs that have sprung up in the last five or
so years. Riga is not known as the party capital of the former
Eastern Bloc for nothing. Just beware of equally fit male
Latvians who could probably have snared Gold in Soviet era
Greco-Roman wrestling.

But Riga is, like, Baltic So Will I Freeze My B@$$s Off?

Maybe. But not necessarily. Just like the UK January is the most
freezing month with lows hitting a chillin’ -9C. The record low
for Riga is -34C but that was so long ago that no one really
remembers and the record high is a toasty 34C. But generally
from April to October Riga is cool without being cold and warm
without being sweltering.

Average January Temperature: -4 C

Average July Temerature: 16C

So How Do I Organise All the Travelly Details Without
Screwing Up?

Easy. There’s a London-based company by the name of Chillisauce
who employ people who really enjoy tailoring packages stag
groups to Riga, and a whole bunch of other cities. They do all
the phoning, reserving and then come up with ideas just for you
and your friends. All you actually have to do is turn up to have
the most kicking ass time.

Riga has never been this good! Just drop a line to Amalia
Illgner, she is a copywriter for chillisauce.co.uk; a fully
bonded tour operator specialising in memorable stag nights. And there’s
a whole map of possibilities for a great stag
weekend, for some excellent adventure filled ideas check out
chillisauce where they will tailor a Stag
Weekend in Riga just for you and any number of your best
friends. Now that’s what we like to call service!

Is the cost of your wedding putting the honeymoon of your
dreams out of reach? Not to worry; if you already have all the
kitchenware and bedding you need, and if you have generous
friends and family, your problem might be solved by setting up a
honeymoon registry.

A honeymoon registry is much like a wedding registry. Just as a
wedding registry allows you to create a list of gifts you would
prefer to receive at your wedding, a honeymoon registry allows
you to create a list of places you would like to go and things
you would like to do on your honeymoon. The honeymoon registry
enables your wedding guests to purchase portions of your
honeymoon. Yes, your guests could just contribute cash toward
your honeymoon, but somehow giving a particular portion of the
honeymoondinner at a fancy restaurant, or a carriage ride, for
exampleis more meaningful.

Type the phrase “honeymoon registry” into your favorite search
engine, and you’ll get thousands of results. There are three
basic kinds of honeymoon registries:

• Registries that require you to book your travel through
  the travel agency offering the registry.
• Registries that
  allow you to book your travel either through the sponsoring
  travel agency (or other affiliated travel agencies), through the
  travel agency of your choice, or on your own. Usually these
  registries charge an extra fee or higher service charge if you
  choose not to book travel through the registry’s parent travel
  agency.
• Registries that are not affiliated with any travel
  agencies, requiring you to make travel arrangements on your own
  or through a travel agency of your choice.

If a honeymoon
registry sounds like the perfect solution for you, then here is
a quick guide to choosing, creating, and using one:

1. Choosing the honeymoon registry Search for the term
“honeymoon registry” on your favorite search engine, and you’ll
come up with plenty of results. How do you choose the one that’s
best for you? Here are a few basic tips: Different registries
offer various mixes of features and costs. Think about what is
most important to you. Do you want a slick-looking registry with
lots of automated features, or would your guests prefer the
personal service of a low-tech, high-touch registry? Does it
matter how much of a service charge your guests pay? Do you want
the freedom to arrange your own travel, or would you prefer to
lean on the services of the travel agents affiliated with your
registry?

• Take a “virtual tour” of several different
  registries. Start by looking for the registry’s FAQ page, then
  look at a few examples of honeymoon registries.
• Look for
  professionalism. Does the site provide a thorough explanation of
  its services, including all fees and service charges? Does it
  explain who you can contact or what you can do if you run into
  problems? If the honeymoon registry is run by a travel agency,
  does the FAQ explain the company’s policy for cancelled or
  delayed travel?
• Contact couples who have actually used the
  registry. You can find couples by looking up old honeymoon
  registries and doing a web search for their e-mail addresses. Or
  look for e-mail addresses associated with wedding home pages
  hosted by the registry service. Send a friendly e-mail
  explaining your situation and asking for advice; most couples
  will be happy to offer their advice.
• Talk to someone from
  the registry service, either by phone or e-mail. If the registry
  service falls short on customer service when you’re signing up,
  don’t expect better service if a problem arises.

2.
Creating the honeymoon First, you submit some basic personal
informationyour names, the date of the wedding, contact
information, and so on. Then you create your registry, which is
an itemized list of all your honeymoon expenses. Some registries
charge a setup fee, usually between $100-$150; others charge
nothing to the wedding couple, but charge wedding guests a
“service fee” when they buy part of the honeymoon. Most
honeymoon registry websites allow you to create your registry
right away over the web. Other sites put you in touch (by phone
or e-mail) with a representative who helps you create your
registry.

What can you list on your registry? If you can buy it, you can
list it. Typical registries list transportation, lodging,
activities, special amenities, and meals. Expensive items are
usually broken down so guests can choose to pay only a portion
of the item. For example, a honeymoon registry might list 10
gifts of $100 each toward your $1000 airfare expense.

Some honeymoon registries allow you to personalize your registry
with a message to your guests and descriptions of the different
parts of your honeymoon, perhaps even allowing you to upload
pictures to the registry.

3. Announcing the honeymoon registry Once your registry
is set up, you need to let your wedding guests know that it
exists. Many registries will provide you with printed cards
announcing the registry and its web address; you can either mail
them with the wedding invitation or separately. Some registries
will e-mail your wedding guests if you provide their addresses.

The more tactful approach is to let your guests know about your
registry indirectly. Let your parents, close friends, or wedding
party members know that you have a honeymoon registry; they can
pass the word along to guests. Or create a wedding web page with
up-to-date information for guests, and include a link to your
registry on that page. You can then list the address of your
wedding web page in your invitation without directly bringing up
the issue of gifts.

4. Buying gifts from the honeymoon registry Guests look
up your registry by typing your last name(s) into a search box
on the registry website. After reading what you want, they click
on the item(s) they want to buy and pay for the items over the
website. Most registries also allow guests to purchase items by
phone.

The gift-giver usually receives a certificate that is either
sent to the wedding couple or to the giver (to hand on to the
couple in person); some registries charge a fee to mail this
certificate. Other registries notify the couple of the gift by
e-mail. On any registry, you can track how many gifts you have
received simply by logging into the registry.

It’s important to note that most registries require guests to
pay a service charge for the privilege of contributing to your
honeymoon. The service charge is a percentage of the cost of the
gift; the registries we surveyed had service charges ranging
from 3.5% to 15%. So if a guest wants to pay $100 toward your
airfare and the honeymoon registry website imposes a 10% service
charge, she will end up spending $110.

5. Paying for the honeymoon The wedding couple are
ultimately responsible for paying for their honeymoon expenses.
That means that any portion of the honeymoon that must be paid
prior to the wedding (airfare, room deposits and so on) comes
out of your pocket. Some or all of those expenses might be
picked up by your guests, although most couples’ honeymoon
expenses are not completely covered by their registry. It’s wise
not to plan a more extravagant honeymoon than you can pay for
yourselves.

Whatever money wedding guests contribute toward the honeymoon is
placed in a holding account. The registry sends the couple a
check (or electronically deposits the funds into their account)
on a predetermined date, usually a week before the wedding. Even
though the wedding guests paid for certain parts of the
honeymoon, the couple is really free to use the money for
anything they want.

6. Thanking guests It’s important to write thank-you
notes to guests who bought part of the honeymoon (just as you
would write thank-you notes for any wedding gift). It might
actually be fun to thank guests for the honeymoon, though,
because you can describe your experience in the noteyou might
even include a picture.